Today I listened to an interesting discussion on the Casting Shadows Podcast, “Is Immersion Impossible? A Friendly, Abridged Discussion.”Anthony (Runeslinger) and Scott Welker (of Thieves Guild Games) engage in a really excellent discussion regarding that elusive and contentious topic in the TTRPG hobby, “Immersion.” They abjure from a contentious debate regarding the almost Thomist search for the appropriate taxonomy to describe and define what is meant by the term “Immersion” (Anthony prefers “Focused Attention“, while Scott prefers “Autotelic Experience” while I personally think they are just echoing A Famous Canadian), It’s a fun and thought-provoking discussion. I really recommend it. However, what made me want to chime in was when Scott said, “I’ve never teared up at a TTRPG session.”
I like to listen to music when I write. If you’re into that vibe, and wanna listen while you read (and have Spotify) then play the song below and keep reading!
Cathedral
About two months ago I was GMing a session of “Cry Havoc”, Twilight:2000 powered by GURPS. One of the Player Characters, 1st Lieutenant Scott, decided that he wanted to enter Wawel Cathedral in Kraków, Poland and just get some head space, catch up on his journal and think.
The Player Characters had just returned to Kraków. They had finished performing a dangerous reconnaissance mission for some powers that be in this city, run in this gritty post-apocalypse setting as an almost feudal hoarding outpost, with the “haves” in the city and “have nots” outside begging to get a chance to become near-slaves in a punishing indentured servitude so they can, you know, eat.
The Player Characters have been desperately trying to stockpile supplies and equipment, develop critical relationships and find vital information to get the heck out of the hellscape of a post-nuclear exchange and war-torn Europe and “go home.” Probably to another hellscape. The had just, 2 days prior, raided a Polish “Lublin Government” forward depot at a disused fire station and killed every single member of the 17 man reconnaissance unit there, to include 8 men sleeping (or in the act of awakening) in their beds.
In the Cathedral, the mass was just finishing and it appeared a few priests were up at the altar finishing up. It was a weekday. There were 10 or 12 people scattered in the hardwood pews. The structure was dingy but still magnificent. A place untouched by the war. Multi-color splendor of the morning light streamed in through the stained glass windows. The silence was calming.
After writing for 20 minutes a priest walked up and greeted the Lieutenant. “How are you doing my son.” They chatted. Scott professed ignorance of Catholicism, explained he wanted a refuge for some quiet. The priest, wearing a scarlet skullcap and scarlet clerical shirt, explained that that was exactly what this place was. A refuge.
They chatted for 5, maybe 10 minutes. I lost track of time. I knew that Cardinal Klempka was a priest who wanted to be a pastor to his flock, but before the war, and now as it continues despite humanity’s attempted collective suicide. He as been inexorably drawn more and more into politics. The Cardinal is a man, and therefore flawed. But he does see the Church as a vehicle for practical and spiritual reconstruction, now that everything is broken. If not, than what else was it, or he himself, good for? But that all gets tangled and messy in this destructive world. So the Cardinal saw Scott himself as a refuge. Klempka joined the clergy to help people. Maybe this man just needs someone to talk with. If that would help, Klempka wanted to do that.
I knew this because Klempka was an NPC I had prepared with a nice four sentence description for about 8 months before. And as Klempka (me) and 1st Lieutenant Scott (“Kim”) kept talking I started to cry. Not sob, but just silently cry. Tears streaming down my face. “What is this salty discharge?” No one could see, because despite always using cameras when playing at our tables, distinguishing tears on my 3-days-unshaven face would have been quite difficult.
Everyone is different. Every table, setting, etc. is different. So this is not a judgement regarding Scott’s statement. I’m just saying “I’ve seen it.” Maybe it was dopamine. Maybe it was a bad piece of cheese. Maybe it was sleep deprivation or a hallucinogenic effect. But I think that was Immersion. I asked other members at that table if anything happened. They all privately related that the were affected by the encounter. Transfixed. It led to a conversation with another player, “Green” who told me, “I’ve cried in another campaign and in this one too. Several times.” Maybe it was a mass illusion?
Tables are busy. Everything conspires against it. Mechanics, jokes, happenings, crunching Cheetos, Monty Python references. But its there. It exists. Its just fleeting. But its worth it if you can find it.
Epilogue: The encounter between 1st Lieutenant Scott and Cardinal Klempka abruptly ended when “Kim” received an emergency call from his girlfriend and and had to leave the Session.
Roleplaying at its best.